Start spreadin' the news...

I'm leaving today....to visit my favorite city in the continental United States: New York! I'll be going for business, but staying for an extended weekend of pleasure. A few items about this trip:

A. My hotel room in Manhattan for one night cost more than my round-trip flight.

2. I get to hop a train down to Baltimore after my meeting to go see the little sis-in-law at school!

3. Mason doesn't get to come with me and it's slowly making my excitement for the trip dwindle. I suppose I'll get over it though once I walk into Barney's.

D. HELL HAS FROZEN OVER. I'll be taking a certain novel with me to read on the planes, trains, and in the automobiles. It's a novel I swore I'd never read, simply because I sometimes take unfounded stances against things because they are popular and/or mainstream. Yes, it's true, ladies and gentleman, I've gone to the dark side.......

The non-ugh Ugg

Let's face it. While Ugg boots--and all of their generic brand copycats--may be the warmest, coziest, comfiest, most weather-repelling, and the easiest-boots-to-pull-on-before-making-a-peppermint-mocha-run manufactured in all the land, they sure are Uggly. The utility and convenience of these boots have caused me to throw my better instincts to the wind and buy a couple of pairs in winters past, I'll admit it. The Ugg boot, after all, is "the flip flop of winter" (TM, copyright, and patent pending to Morris) . And when you live in Salt Lake City, finding a winter equivalent to the flip flop is CRITICAL.

But this year, when sliding on my sand-colored, horribly lazy, sloppy, clompy off-brand Uggs, I thought to myself, "Self, this is unacceptable. You are better than this. Remember who you are and what you stand for."

So my friend Google and I did some investigating and found these bad boys. Still cozy and perfect for winter? Yes. As Uggly? No.

These particular buttoned-wonders are Kenneth Cole Reaction, but there are many brands, yes, including Ugg, making some really cute alternative choices to the traditional Ugh/Ugg. Hopefully these will arrive on my doorstep soon, saving me from clomping and stomping my way through the winter season.

Choir Nerd Alert!!!

Ever since my choir's first Christmas concert last Saturday, I've been an IMMENSE choir nerd. Listening to choir CDs (dating all the way back to Skyline High Highlites '98), devouring the MoTab's Christmas albums from generations past, actually enjoying rehearsal on Sunday and Wednesday nights, and anxiously awaiting our next holiday gig.

Saturday's was uber special because it was in the Tabernacle on Temple Square. We sold out our 7:30 performance, so we had to book a 5:30 one as well. Yeah, we're kind of a big deal. I've seen so many concerts and events in that historic building, but never from the choir seats. Let me just tell you people, the soft, red choir seats are about 79 times more comfortable than those bloody wooden benches. Sitting on those things for any time period longer than 30 minutes will surely lead to a severe case of DBS (Dead Butt Syndrome).

Besides the plush seating, the other perk was how amazing the organ sounded from that proximity. It rumbled the seats and shook our sheet music. Our rehearsal actually ended up sounding better than both performances that night, but that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes. I wish everyone could've been at the rehearsal to witness "Come Thou Long Expected Savior" (a Christmas rendition of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, a.k.a. MY FAVORITE HYMN EVER IN EXISTENCE). David was pounding on the organ, the band joined us for the first time, and all 280 singers have never been more responsive to our conductor. I just had chills up and down.

Ever since that moment, it's been so obvious that for me, Christmas just isn't Christmas unless I am singing in a choir like that. I sang in choirs every Christmas in high school, but there has definitely been an unfortunate seasonal void in my life since then. This new choir has finally filled it. And I don't expect any non-choir nerds to really understand what I mean when I say that. It probably just sounds like a bunch of hogwash, but people, until you've felt the satisfaction of hundreds of voices (or even just 24, like my Skyline Madrigals) come together on that one perfect chord that could bring you to tears, you just won't get it. So maybe you'll just HAVE to take my word for it. Take that, Lavar Burton.

My other favorite part of choir is that I'm sitting next to my mommy the whole time. If you ever need to learn how to sing parts, or find a harmony in a certain song, I recommend sitting yourself down on the pew, right next to my mom. As far back as I can remember, she would sing the alto part of the hymn for one verse to help me find it, then she'd move back to the soprano line, encouraging me to find and sustain the alto harmony on my own. Then on the third verse, we'd try the tenor line together, which always lead to a gigglefest when our voices would hit the low "manly tones." She's the only reason I have my long-standing love affair with harmony. She's the one who made me audition for Highlites, the all-girl barbershop choir. She's the reason I can listen to a melody line that Mason has written and write a harmony on top of it or underneath it. She's the one who found and joined the choir, I just tagged along.

So thanks for letting me tag along, Mamacita. You are the ORIGINAL choir nerd, and this apple didn't fall far from the tree. Luckily, I see that as a good thing.

Sleepy Sunday

Kiddo, just settling down for a long winter's nap: Ripley, in comfy sleeping position #1:

Ripley, after moving to position #2:

We got a LOT accomplished today.

Two gift ideas from Chanel

I call it Prairie Couture, perfect for a walk across the pastel plains this holiday season. Are they serious??And secondly, for all the guitar players on your Christmas list this year, a Chanel guitar strap:Show them you care with fine embossed leather that costs more than your Ford Focus:

620 Art Show

Brad Metcalf makes amazing metal furniture, and just opened a new gallery to display his Prima Metalworks creations, as well as other forms of visual art. Mason was invited to be a part of Brad's gallery opening event: 620 Art Show.

The fine art and furniture were displayed upstairs in the fancy schmancy gallery.

While the underground street / graffiti art and a live DJ were downstairs, in Brad's garage/studio:
Mason designed the flyer for the event, and Brad liked it so much that he asked Mason to paint the image as a mural on his studio wall downstairs.The coolest part is watching the whole thing happen via time-lapse video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdOPI1NoV04

We had a fabulous time at the opening and are excited to have as many venues as possible showcasing Mason's art at once. Right now he's got some at Acme Burger Co., a couple of local galleries, an upcoming exhibit in New York at Art Raw Gallery, L'Astelier Cafe, Signed and Numbered poster gallery, our gallery, etc. Next thing you know he will be up in the frickin MOMA. Hehe.

Mason worked up a couple of new pieces for the 620 show. Here they are...

Matt, Steve, Joe 3-layer "Plexi", Spray paint on plexiglass:
Poor Yorrick, spray paint on wood:Prints available here: http://masonfetzer.deviantart.com/art/Poor-Yorick-104466929

Tape Deck, spray paint on a skate deck:
And one last portrait in the Obama series. Maverick, spray paint on wood:
Prints for sale here: http://cgi.ebay.com/Maverick-Barack-Obama-Art-Print-by-Mason-Fetzer_W0QQitemZ270304722219QQihZ017QQcategoryZ20158QQtcZphotoQQcmdZViewItemQQ_trksidZp1742.m153.l1262

Show review: Portugal. The Man

11/15/2008
Graywhale CD - acoustic set
Studio 600 - ELECTRIC set (oh it was electric all right)

Portugal. The Man (yes, they have inserted a period in their name, which is sometimes hard for me to deal with) are honestly in my top 5 bands and have been since April of this year when I saw them live for the first time up in Logan. Their records have always been captivating, but FINALLY seeing them live elevated them to a higher plane of excellence in banddom. I caught them open for Minus the Bear in the early summer, but the icing on the proverbial cake was when Rx Bandits announced that Portugal would be touring with them allllllll summer.

We hit two shows of the summer tour: SLC and Vegas and they were both fantastical. Both bands have a similar jam-style when they play live, which leads to extended versions of songs, Matt Embree guest starring-guitarring on "Bellies are Full," and an eclectic set list. Those two really are a match made in tour heaven. If it were up to me, they would tour together constantly for the rest of eternity.

This tour, Portugal brought along Earl Greyhound and Wintersleep. However, they didn't bring them to the acoustic show at Graywhale beforehand. After waiting for over an hour with a herd of indie kids on Graywhale's front porch, their van finally pulled up. They unloaded a slue of bongos, a tambourine, an acoustic guitar, a teeny-tiny piano (think Charlie Brown), and started out with a few songs from the newest album, Censored Colors.

I'd been anxiously engaged in trying to absorb and love the album, but wasn't ecstatic about it because it has an overall slower tempo....a bit harder to dive into, for me anyway. But, seeing those songs acoustic TOTALLY changed my opinion. Particularly "Colors" "1989" and "New Orleans." As an acoustic musician myself, I always give props to bands who can make their songs sound good unplugged. Playing acoustic is HARD and SCARY because you don't have a giant drum kit or a half stack to cover up your mistakes or hide behind. My only complaint about the set was that they were far too quiet...vocally and instrumentally. Graywhale had mics and a PA set up for them, but they boycotted. They also added a new female singer / tambourine player, which seems like a good idea in theory, but left the harmonies really top-heavy. When you already have two male vocalists who are constantly singing in falsetto it seems to me that you would want to add lower harmonies, rather than piling more up top. But what do I know?

After the show I went to ask them if they would play "The Pines" that night. It's my favorite song of theirs and I've never heard it live. I was both pissed and amused to find out that they don't ever play it...because the drummer doesn't know it. He's all, "The Pines?? What album is that on?"

Cue nightfall.

To be honest, I missed Wintersleep entirely and only caught two songs of Earl Greyhound's set. Remember the days of getting to a show before the doors even opened? The two songs I heard were wicked though. They're an unexpected trio of musicians but their sound is very universal: a rock and soul combo.

And the chick bassist? To quote the great Wayne Campbell, "She wails."

Portugal's set was long and luscious and happily contained a bunch of songs from Church Mouth and Waiter: "You Vultures!" as well as the new album. I guess they were stressed about set time because they just barreled through song after song and kept saying how they didn't have any time for chit-chat in between because it was almost time for square dancing. Yes, square dancing. Studio 600 was apparently opening later for an LDS dance of some kind and Portugal had to be off the stage by a certain time. Less talk, more rock!

Here's a countdown of the top 7 moments of the show:
7- When they slipped in a cover of Three Dog Night's "One"
6- How much their keyboard player reminds me of George Michael from the best TV show in history Arrested Development (Michael Cera is his real name, but I prefer to call him George Michael)
5- "The Devil" and "Chicago" --it's a tie as to which one melted my face off the most effectively
4- A small snippet of "How the Leopard Got its Spots" worked into the middle of another song
3- The red, green, and blue light show
2- How high up John Gourley wears his guitar. That Gretsch is bigger than he is, I swear.

1- "AKA M80 The Wolf" : I am but a man...........BUT A MAN.......but a proud, proud man.......it's the epitome of the gospel-rock-soul-sing-along.

So overall, both shows made my love for the new album grow. However, for me, it still doesn't top their first album. I commend them for evolving and moving in a different direction, but the sound on Waiter: "You Vultures!" is definitely their bread and butter. I know you can't continually make the same album with the same sound over and over again, but guys, if your next album were a bit more like your first one, I'd probably quit my job and just follow you around the country.

We one.

This election has been historic and monumental. Controversial and surreal. Both a kick in the pants and a pain in the ass. It's caused some tension among family and friends for me personally, and I continue to hear stories daily about other ridiculous and awesome reactions worldwide. Case in point: today's X96 boner of the day. A Catholic leader in the dirty South apparently wouldn't allow his congregation to take holy communion if they voted for Obama--pardon me, Barack Hussein Obama.

I spent election day working. After voting early (and waiting an hour in line to do so), I was impatient to see the returns. I went to my UAF board meeting at the end of the day and found the table crowded with lapels full of I Voted and Obama stickers. We even had a special visitor, he's standing in the back:

After that, we headed over to Club Bricks In The Sound Venue (yes, that's their official name now) for an election night bash thrown by the Utah for Obama people. Mason had a table set up, selling prints of his Obama portrait series, and it turned out to be the perfect place to ring in the new era.

We were joined by family and friends and, as cheesy as it sounds, we all stood there, craning our necks up at the big screen, listening to our next President speak....embracing each other. I'll fully admit it, I was brought to tears. Even in saying so however, I don't feel like I have any outrageous or unrealstic hopes for what Obama can do for us as president. I know he's still human and he's not the savior that some are making him out to be. But what I do know is that he's the first politician to inspire my husband to paint a portrait...of a politician. And he's inspired a whole slue of other artists nationwide to do the same. What I do know is that a veteran of the war stood next to me during that amazing speech, with tears a-twinklin' in his eyes too. What I do know is that it's time for some of that sweet, beautiful, political buzzword we've come to call: CHANGE.

It was a good night. I was proud to be an American.

The next day, Mason's eBay store was abuzz with glorious sales. Citizens from New York to Chicago to Austin to Seattle all wanted to buy their own piece of history, and hang an original Obama portrait on their wall.

All we can say is, Barack Obama hasn't even been sworn in yet, and look at how the profits from our small business have skyrocketed! Obama singlehandedly saved the economy! Obama saved small businesses! Obama saved the arts! Hip hop hooray! Obama for King of the World 2012!

If you live locally and want to buy a print, just let me know and you won't have to pay for shipping on eBay. They're only $20 and they are signed and numbered.

Ten thirty one oh eight

Guess who else came to dinner at our place on Halloween?

Cheech:

His good pal Elton John:

The legendary Zoro:

Some hot ladies, including Margot Tenenbaum, a Mad Men secretary, Dorothy, and DEVO. They whipped it good:

A Mythbuster and a hot Communist:

A scarecrow and a dead mechanic. If they only had a brain:

Robert Smith from The Cure....South Park style.

Lars...and his Real Girl, Bianca:

The Boogeyman and his 'partner' Robert:

The Royal Fetzenbaums

Here's what we were after on Halloween:

Here's how it went:

Not bad for the night before, eh?

A blog by any other name...

I wanted to explain the name I've chosen for this blogderdash. I've already stated that I LOVE words and grammar, which pathetically wasn't an exaggeration--so I actually deliberated and agonized over what to call this blasted contraption for WEEKS.

The title of this blog, these words that I will choose, are words that I will potentially be looking at and directing people to for years to come. I mean, it has to be good. It has to be funny. Clever. Witty. Something I won't get sick of. Something pleasing to say and look at. Something that will have good visual appeal when I force Mason to design me a masthead.

So I built a list of literally 37 possibilities, and would text myself a good idea whenever one struck me. This list is seriously a gold mine of delicious one-liners and puns on clichés, so if anyone wants to pay me like $50 to see The List of Genius, just let me know.

So why did I end up picking an inside joke among friends, Lady Bombay, instead of one of those aforementioned clever titles? I'll never know.

The story of Lady Bombay takes us back to 2004, when three friends began a passionate hate affair with those companies and restaurants that insist on publishing signs with incorrect grammar and spelling. Morris, Cham and I would constantly text and IM and email each other with the semantic blunders, punctuational catastrophes, and spelling calamities that we came across.

One evening, Cham was having dinner at one of my favorite Indian places: Bombay House (going there tonight actually, weird). She noticed a horrendous sign on their front door and immediately texted her grammar police posse the awful news:

lady bombay has dinning hours posted on the door

Now we all know that punctuation and capitalization go a little lapse when it comes to texting. So her actual meaning of the text, which was:

Lady (a name which we all affectionately call each other), Bombay (Bombay House, the restaurant) has 'dinning hours' (a misspelling of 'dining hours') posted on their door. (Those idiots)

....was completely lost on the recipients.

I didn't even bother trying to interpret the nonsense, but Morris took Cham's text to mean the following:

Lady Bombay (Carly) has posted dinning hours (which are a bundle of letters or notes or something fun for you to read) on the (your) door

So, thinking that I, Lady Bombay, had 'posted' a note on her front door, Morris bounded right down the stairs and checked her front door for the dinning hours that I, Lady Bombay, had left for her.

To this day, Morris isn't even sure why she thought I was Lady Bombay.
Oh, but I was.
And I am.
Even the world wide web says so now.

"Ooooh! They have the internet on computers now!"

The scariest thing I'll see today...

...comes in the form of a paper I just graded. Yowza, now THAT will give you nightmares.

Happy Ho-lloween!

"So, what should we dress up as for Halloween this year, Jess?"

"Hmmm, I don't know, I'm super stressin' about it. It's rill, rill hard to come up with a super cute idea."

"We need something that is like totally cute, but like totally slutty at the same time."

"OK like what?"

"Maybe a slutty pirate? Or a slutty police officer? A slutty baby maybe? With a bottle and a bib?"

"No, Brit, none of those sound even close to slutty enough! Think harder!"

"Ooh, ooh, I know! I know! Let's be.......SLUTS!"

"That's SUCH a great idea!!! OMG!!!!! PROSTITUTES ARE SO RAD!!!"

OK so I intended this post to be all about Mason's pumpkin, but in my quest for a Halloween costume last night, I came across so much sluttery that I had to wonder what would happen if girls just cut to the chase and dressed up as professional ladies of the night to begin with?

Mason carves a killer punkin every year, and this year was no exception.

This website is holding a contest for the best Barack O' Lantern, so he used one of his Obama stencils. If he wins he gets a Nano. I personally think it's the best one on there, of course.

Here's last year's...

Musaic (a mosaic of art and music, get it?)

I love a good play on words. In fact, if memory serves me correctly, I may have co-authored a play called A Play on Words in college. So, when Mason's new gallery owner asked me to put together a musical shindig to benefit the gallery, I had a rill rill fun time coming up with the name: Musaic. So if you think it's lame, please call someone who cares.

The shindig goes down tomorrow night at Kilby Court, starting at 7:00 pm. There will be a mini art gallery in the merch booth (or the merch bucket, as the cool kids call it), spoken word poetry between bands, and 3 lovely, beautiful, wonderful local bands, including, yes, The Precinct. They are surprisingly easy to work with and book.

We had originally scheduled 4 bands, but poor Tate from Spooky Moon was in an accident and they had to cancel. Get well soon, Tate! Other bands are Marie Bradshaw and Edens Affect. I met Jenny (Jennie?) from Edens Affect at an audition for American Idol (shhh...) and let's just say that the musical relationship we've fostered is by far the best thing either of us gained from THAT audition experience. The flyer is below with all the deets.