Making the world safe for grammarians everywhere

"There is a large number of students.......[continued quote]"
- A Utah high school principal, as quoted in the newspaper
"That's incorrect grammar! What a moron! It should be 'There ARE a large number...' "- Bill Allred, DJ on X96's Radio From Hell morning show
"You owe that guy an apology, his grammar was not incorrect."
- An X96 listener
"Can anyone who knows the rules call in and let me know if I owe the principal and apology or not?"- Bill Allred, DJ on X96's Radio From Hell morning show
Who can possibly swoop in and save this impending radio catastrophe? Who has the grammatical prowess to decipher this potentially unsolvable subject/verb agreement mystery? What self-respecting English teacher and faithful FOP (friend of the program) could possibly turn down this chance to prove Bill "I'm never wrong" Allred WRONG?

It's a bird...
It's a plane...
It's....Carly the grammar nazi!

So they put me on the air and I was able to explain that the HS principal was in fact correct in his statement that "There is a large number of students..."

But Bill shouldn't be distressed, this is one of the most common errors I catch when grading my English 101 papers.

Even though students is plural, the word number is a singular noun. There are many students that make up that singular group, but we're still talking about one singular group, not groups or "...numbers of students..." Therefore, to maintain subject/verb agreement, the singular form of the verb, is, should be used rather than the plural form, are.

Similar example: "The whole group is starving." is correct while "The whole group are starving." would be incorrect.

Pause and discuss.

Bountiful: The Brooklyn of Salt Lake City

The only two houses we've found that we like well enough to make an offer on have been in BOUNTIFUL. Sacreligious, I know. I'm a downtown girl. I walk to work every day. I've lived in or near the heart of the city for the past six years...and spent the 22 years prior to that within the Salt Lake Valley. But, APD (as previously discussed), city living definitely has its cons. And suburbia has its pros, the main one being: cheaper real estate.

It's like I'm a Manhattan girl, and you're asking me to move to BROOKLYN--exactly the debate Miranda faced in the 6th season of Sex and the City. Life as she knew it would cease if she had to cross a BRIDGE to get anywhere.

However, I've spent a fair amount of time in Brooklyn, and I actually love it. If I were to move to NYC today, I'm 99% sure I would end up somewhere like Williamsburg, rather than in the City. It's only a 15 minute subway ride to Midtown, that's totally bearable. I could do Brooklyn.

Similarly for me, Bountiful would only mean a 10-15 minute commute. That should be totally bearable. Unfortunately, I'm an East Side girl, and short or long commute, I just simply don't like the fact that I'll have to say "Bountiful" instead of "a townhouse right by Gateway" when people ask me, "So where do you live?" I'm a snob.

Some call Brooklyn "the new Manhattan"...so could I convince myself that Bountiful is "the new Sugarhouse" or "the new Avenues?" I'm trying very, very hard to do just that.

A Google image search of 'bountiful' yields a vast array of results. Some are more promising than others:

I'll let you know how it turns out. In the meantime, tell everyone you know that Bountiful is the new black!

Could there BE any more reasons to move???

That was my best attempt at a Chandler Bing (Mrs. Chanandaler Bong).

Mason and I have been house-hunting for the past couple of months. It started out as just a hobby, you know-- "it's a GREAT time to buy, maybe we'll just look around and see what's out there." However, it has now evolved into a full-blown obsession with an actual realtor (people, please do not say "real-a-tor," that word does not have three syllables) and endless hours of MLS searching, virtual touring, and Google Maps-ing online.

Side question: how on Google Earth did people find and buy a house before Al Gore invented the internet?

Anyway, now that we've begun looking, the universe keeps presenting me with more and more reasons why we need to move, and we need to move STAT.

1. We live in studio #3 in our building. Last week we managed to piss of not only #4 and #2 with our dance parties, but also the folks clear down in #5. Oops. It was St. Patrick's Day! Irish car bombs and the Dropkick Murphys aren't really a recipe for a quiet evening at home. I know, I know, it was a Tuesday, but IT WAS ST. PATRICK'S DAY! Where's your sense of patriotism?

We embody that old VW Jetta commercial. You know the one where the young couple are blasting a Kings of Leon song in their apartment, jumping and dancing around, and the neighbors are pounding on the walls and the ceiling, telling them to shut up? The couple goes on a shopping spree and buys a brand new stereo system, a new Jetta to haul it in, and a brand new house, where they can blast their music and dance the night away without disturbance.

2. Artspace took away my parking space. I now have to park in the SDI lot like a frickin' visitor. No offense intended to all you visitors, it's just uncomfortable being way down there on your level.

3. Artspace still hasn't fixed the rain gutter situation, which causes a nice flood in Mason's art studio every time it rains, snows, or if the aforementioned snow starts to melt.

4. My friend got offered "meth OR crack" on his way in from the SDI lot the other day. Your choice! Same great effects! Same low price! Act now!

5. We're getting my Aero ready to sell, so Mason took the eBay pictures yesterday. We were appalled at all the door dings, scratches, and dents in the hood and all over the body of my Swedish stud, Simon. I blame this all on the fact that I've parked him at the One-Stop-Drive-Thru-Drug-Hut (A.K.A. Artspace City Center) for the past three years. That's downtown living for ya.

6. Artspace.

You know you're way too busy when...

...you only have time to post about upcoming shows...

...on the day of the show...

....even when you have way better stuff to post about--like, say, the inauguration of the 44th president of the United States of America, which you attended!

So this is happening tonight, our first set is at 8:00, then we'll be playing another set at 10:00:

Both Eric Steffensen and Goat Beard are guys from my office. Fun fact: 13% of the employees at my company are in a musical group of some kind.

In other news, I am OBSESSED with Mad Men. Mason and I watched the entirety of season 1 last weekend, and waiting for season 2 to come out is going to be torture. Half of the time I'm just so pissed off and appalled by the way the women are treated by the men, that I can't really pay attention to much else. But the other half of my attention is completely devoted to oogling the clothes.

I'll admit that my fashion choices this week have defintiely been 50's and 60's-tinged as a result. It was definitely an incredible era for women like Joan Holloway and I...you know, women with actual women's bodies, not 12 year-old boy's bodies:

You can even print off your very own Joan Holloway paper dolls, complete with her best looks from Season 1!
Ta ta for now, darlings.